Travel Innoculations

I'm off to a 3rd world country tomorrow morning and am wondering what jabs (apart from Rabies in case I'm bitten by a local) I need to get to travel to scotland.

Help greatly appreciated.

Wrap up warm mate, as you Essex boys are not used to a slight chill or breeze

I would do... except I'm not an Essex boy. I'm originally from up on the northwest coast.

Blackpool boy?

The midges were biting a bit yesterday so I'd pack the Skin so Soft.

All joking apart, when my daughters ex first traveled to Scotland in the autumn she wound him up somewhat rotten about taking plenty of warm clothes and waterproofs. He went back with sunburn.

I can speak with great authority on this subject seeing as I'm an ex-pat.

You will need to be innoculated against the following:

1) Deep fried Mars bars
2) White pudding
3) Chips covered in curry sauce
4) Malt whisky
5) Tennants 80 shillings beer.

If you do catch a dose of either 4 or 5 above, a bottle of Barrs Irn Bru will usually sort out the resultant after effects the following morning.

Also, beware of chanting any Rangers songs on the east side of Glasgow as you will cause much hysterical laughter amongst the locals and also chanting Celtic songs on the west side of the city as a smack in the teeth usually hurts.

Good luck!

Davie wrote:Blackpool boy?

Nope. Just south of the Mersey.

Ah - mock-Northerner

Davie wrote:Ah - mock-Northerner

Still far enough north to have a complete understanding of how to put bricks under a car and nick the wheels.

Barrs Irn Bru
Did you know that Scotland is the only country in the world where Coca Cola is not the biggest selling soft drink.

Sorry to spoil the fun but deep fried Mars Bar was done for a joke.
Trouble is deep fried Pizza is not.
Jonny..... Batter fried haggis and chips is great.
Re..... Football banter, Say you support Partick Thistle and you are as safe as houses.

Big No No is..........I'm sorry I can't understand what you are saying, can you repeat that in English.

Actually my approach tomorrow is:

Hi. I'm English and I'm here to help your risk management processes in insurance in order to ensure that sector goes belly up prior to independence as well as banking.

Another thing....don't call it funny money.

You seldom see Bank of England notes here nowadays

Doon the Water wrote:Another thing....don't call it funny money.

You seldom see Bank of England notes here nowadays

That's because we've stopped exporting them north of the border. You lot stockpile them so as to have currency issued by a bank that's worth more than a 13pound note.

Last time I was in Scotland enjoying a golf trip one of the blokes in our group made the mistake of asking for a whisky and coke in the local pub.

Never seen so many heads turn with looks of complete disdain and disgust for daring to ruin a fine drop of scotch...

LJ...I was half joking about the midges but having just returned from the dog walk I can definately confirm that they are biting.

Is midge a term for attractive young lady who wants more than a layaboot to shag?

No that's a madge.

Quite tropical up here today.
We are all very busy here stock piling the Highland Spring to sell at £5 a bottle to the drought stricken Olympians.