Friday joke

This is one posted on the original BBC Message Board ...

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, "Excuthe me, do you have any widdle wabbits?"

The shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level, and says, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft fluffy bwack wabbit, or one like that widdle bwown wabbit over there?

The little girl blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers ...
"I don't weally fink my pet pyfon gives a phuk ...

Two women talking and one says to the other 'do you look at your husbands face when having sex'. 'I did once' says the other woman 'but he looked so angry'. 'why angry'? 'because he was watching me through the window'.

A story with a moral:

My girlfriend told me to call over to her house one day. When I arrived I found her unbelievable sister looking sexy as hell, and all alone. She whispered to me that she was horny and wanted me to give her one now. I turned around and walked out to my car and found my girlfriend standing there. She gave me a big hug and was so happy that she could trust me and would never doubt me again.

Moral of the story is to always leave your condoms in the car

Last night the wife asked me what I was doing on the computer. I said I was looking for flights. She went crazy and took her clothes off and was kissing me and fondeling me. I never even knew she liked darts.

A recent survey found that one in three women are just as stupid as the other two.

Two golfers are waiting their turn on the tee when a naked woman runs across the fairway and into the woods. Two men in white coats and another guy carrying two buckets of sand are chasing her, and a little old man is bringing up the rear.

One of the golfers grabs the old man and says, "What's going on?" The old guy says, "She's a nymphomaniac from the asylum, she keeps trying to escape, and us attendants are trying to catch her" The golfer says, "What about the guy with the buckets of sand?" The old guy says, "That's his handicap. He caught her last time"

Congrats BC - that could be the first "new" golf joke I've heard in a long time!

Cheers Davie, happy to be of service!